Haute Couture

First impressions go a long way and your outward appearance plays a major role as such. Taking the time to put yourself together in a cohesive manner lets the world know you respect both yourself and others. The same can be said when donning a cycling kit. In addition to the inherent design, the manner in which it is worn adds to the overall panache exhibited.

We will have the women now

The cycling kit has come a long way since its inception in the mainstream. What once started as black shorts coupled with a wool jersey emblazoned with one title sponsor at most has morphed into something entirely different today. The kit of the modern velocipede warrior claims ownership of fabrics and innovations so technical I got a BA in Biomechanical Engineering from the University of Phoenix (online) to be able to decipher product description tags. One thing that remains unchanged is the confidence one exudes whilst galavanting around in clothing so tight it leaves little to the imagination. If you were to tell any normal red blooded, meat eating male “I have a pair of hot pants and a short sleeved shirt for you, they’re brightly colored and and will cling to your body like a virus” you’d more than likely get smacked in the mouth hole. Of course, cyclists are not what we would consider to be normal. We relish the opportunity to garnish ourselves in overly coordinated attire, squeal with muted glee at the thought of form fitting vests and gush with Gaga’esque intensity at the possibility of matching our fingerless gloves to our hats. The nature of the cycling kit beast is such that it often is a slave to function. Decisive fashion choices are forced to take a back seat to appeasing the sponsors. When Valentino decides that sequined, asymmetrical cocktail dresses are what Fall 2012 will be about, cycling kit designers curse the heavens as they continue to find themselves confined to the banality of shirt and shorts. In spite of all of this, even obtuse designs can maintain an air of class when properly worn.

Jealous?

Take Giovanni Visconti for example. His team, Farnese Vini, are the owners of a mid 90′s throwback design complete with neon yellow and an overwhelming amount of sponsors gracing the fabric. However this is not Visconti’s first rodeo. Far from it in fact, Giovanni had the good sense to win his national road race championship thereby vaulting him into the elite category of season long custom kit enjoyment. Telling an Italian they have free reign to design a piece of clothing that will be displayed prominently for all the world to see is akin to telling a German they can design and maintain the railway systems for the entire world. Excitement is a word that doesn’t even begin to describe the emotions. Visconti has done well here, respectable sock height, classy glove matching, admirable helmet colorway and a healthy splashing of white all combine to let everyone know he comes from a land where style resides comfortably. More so than the design is the assurance he maintains whilst in the kit, even his own teammate is left staring and wondering:

Teammate: How do you do this Giovanni?
Giovanni: How do I do what teammate of mine?
Teammate: To be for looking fantastico! This kit, this kit is like the flag of Italy made love with affection and romance at the same time.
Giovanni: Si, si teammate, my kit is a noble and beautiful combinazione of vigor and violence. It is to make fear for others while letting le donne know I am a tender and fair lover.
Teammate: Is there a way I am to try and make these emozioni real for me?
Giovanni: Certo teammate, eat your Nutella, drink your espresso, massage your legs often and live a life of passione. Also it helps to take runway walking lessons from Gisele Bundchen.

Cycling is a sport that lies hand in hand with style. Looking impressive on the bike is just as important as ones palmares, sometimes even more so. Maintaining masculinity in brightly colored skin suits is an impressive act in itself and one that, if achieved, should be commended with respect. Like the lucky few that look good even in a burlap sack, the supremely confident cyclist can rise above inferior kit designs to display his achievements to the world. The dedication and sacrifice that cycling demands offers few returns but the ability stride around coffee shops in, essentially, a body sock and still be able to turn female heads is a revelatory experience.